Homegrown Love: New changes bring new growth......i think

So onto the big unknown we go....just like before when we moved to Eugene, i would get a slight panic, a little voice that screams....WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! Yeah it gets louder as the days near. Nearer to uncertain outcomes, maybe we won't find a job? Maybe we will be worse off? Maybe we won't find a house to live in? Will they take a dog that looks like a beast? These are normal questions for normal people to ask, but we just kind of "trust" that it will all work out. I like to go off of the past for future references. I have lived now for 26 years and never once have i not been looked after, taken care of and in good hands. God has always had me follow this curving, twisted, path along after him(sometimes beside him). The only times it were really bad was when i just didn't believe it would be "ok". Nothing is worse than that feeling. It's always been ok though, despite what has happened or what i have done to try and make my life go the way i think it should.

We have a few days left here, i will be back to visit of course. There are too many here that i love and now can't be without! I have learned much here, i think i got my fill of being myself, being alone, being free...im ready for new changes. I know a little more about myself, about my husband and kids. We made it through a lot and was blessed with much more.
I will miss
My little apartment next to a busy road and the mall
The park down the road, that i don't go to but that jordan takes the kids to :)
Wandering Goat coffee...mmmm thank you!
Things to do all the time
The indoor skatepark
My few friends that have changed my life for the better
The house in the woods
The counting of deer
The mushroom festival and Oregon Country Fair
Forks
The books and the characters
I think i might actually miss the rain
My church, eugene christian fellowship for opening their arms and always willing to help
Our sunday soup date with the kids....and then a coffee and walk after
Seeing dreadheads like its normal
Skateboarders like its normal
Volkswagons like its normal
My back porch

I will miss it all, but this move will be a good thing...i have a sentimental heart and get sad to leave whole lives behind, and people. I think its just the way i was made, very attached to the "what ifs and what could have beens".

Today i finished all my orders over christmas break, mailed off 80 dollars worth of orders...thats right eighty! Got to go to buffalo exchange with gillian and some of my old clothes that Im getting rid of for the move and they gave me 120.00 in trade, which has never happened! So amazing...sssshh the secret was that i prayed that i would actually get a girl at the counter that thought all my stuff was soooo cool, i prayed because they are so snobby and they always reject my stuff. Anyway i got trade...yay
Then we went for coffee at the goat and laughed at recordings of Flight of the Choncords on our phones...good times.
I am up late and i still have a movie to watch! Busy busy
I was so so blessed with a new camera this christmas...the camera i have been wanting for about 5 years and could never get, so i will be adding pictures along the way and you can say "oooh aaah look at how great those pictures are!!!" k thanks