Yeah, it has been a while. Busy busy. I had a couple hundred break downs and a crazy first few weeks as a new small bussiness owner and now i feel like i am able to take a little breather...............aaahhhhh
So this is what my baby looks like this week (just 15) and i really really think that she is a girl, and Im excited!My midwife...who is awsome by the way, says she thinks its a girl because the heart beat is really fast and thats probably why my symptoms are completley opposite of what ashers pregnancy was like.
I feel better, way better. I am now a little more happy about everything. I love my husband and son more this week than i have in the last 3 months and i love my job, and my family, and my situation. I had been soooooo stressed out, i cant even explain the torture i put myself and jordan through with all of my worrying and unhappiness.
Its not like i could help it really, i would collaps on our bed every night and just cry and not be able to move, just so so tired, which made me sick, which made me angry..."why me, why now?"
But then something just snapped, and so did jordan. (poor guy)
I was feeling the whole....."show me some attention and act pregnant too cause im suffering" thing and he couldn't even say hi without me biteing his head off ....it was one of those visious cycles that takes just one person acting great first, and then the other follows.
Of course we couldnt do that or figure that out until the clouds parted and a voice from heaven says "BE NICE".
Long story short, we sorted it out, but the really funny thing to me is, that this is when all of the doctors and books tell you everything will sort out. After the first 3 months is over, then you start to feel sane again and you can look on the world with love every morning once more.
So im still tired but im getting into the feeling of pregancy and the joy of it. Im actually excited this time and not really freaked out. I feel loved, and i feel like my baby is loved and this is the first week where i dont feel like compaining anymore(thanks God) i was getting tired of my own voice rattleing around and around our one bedroom.
The coffee shop is going great! We opened last sunday and it has been a thrill and a freak show and at first i couldn'e breath(first trimesters fault im sure) but its starting to settle in. I picture carrying my newborn in a sling while makeing coffee for the masses.
I want everyone i know to come and see it and feel how much of our time we put into this little business already. God just told us to go for it, and then it felt like it was never going to happen, but through the whole thing, we all knew we would get it. So since God put it together, i feel like its going to be exactly that thing that will fill us with that sence of (what is it?) Its just going to be great some day, beleive!
Its jordans 22nd birthday on Monday, so we celebrated it last night at scandia family fun center. I think he had a lot of fun...and yes thats where he wanted to go. We splurged on random video games and rides for hours and hours. It was great. I almost got mad when we were rideing the go carts......but the sign said "pregnant woman not advised" and i still went, so it was my fault.
There we were, green light go.
Theres like 10 of us, going pretty fast, and jordan the birthday boy is in front. Birthday luck. So i was having fun, speeding around and skidding out all over the place, when i come up on jordan to pass him. He freken slams on his brakes!!
It was like getting into a small car crash (which is what it was) and i went to a dead stop. Anyway, i started to get mad, cause he kept doing it and i was yelling at him and tell him to be careful, then i would try and pass him again....That kid, he almost killed us both. If the cart didnt have seatbelts i would have been skidding across the track on my face. I saw this crazed look in his eyes like "i dont even know who you are and i am the god of the race track JORDAN!!!!!"
So i got this feeling of like.....rage i guess you would call it, and i started swerving right to left to get a good angle on his bumper, then at the end was my best chance and i got him pretty good. He slammed into the guard rail when i bumped in and spun all the way backward, i think he even got hit by the others.....HAHAHAH WHOS THE WINNER NOW??!!!
Anyway, it was a pretty fun party. We played miniture golf and the batting cages, and then went to dennys for a 2 in the morning snack. Happy Birthday bud. Pregnant girls out there, in case you were wondering if you could ride the bumper cars , i would say, no. People tend to lose themselves in the game if you know what i mean. Its not for the safety of your baby im worried about....but your relationships! no im just jokeing, it wasnt that bad.....really, i only have like 2 bruises from the seatbelt impact!
